You know the popular saying about cats, “if I fits, I sits?” Have you ever noticed how they’re kind of a blend between solid and liquid, taking the shape of their container? It’s funny when it’s a cat in a shoebox. But what about when it’s you?

Where in your life are you taking the shape of your container, molding yourself to everyone else’s expectations?

Cancer has a way of temporarily smashing the old container. One day you’re holding everything together—career, family, relationships, responsibilities—barely. The next, it all comes crashing down. And yet, so many of us, after the shock fades, slip right back into the old pattern. Fitting ourselves into everyone else’s needs. Doing “all the things.” Liquifying ourselves in an effort to pretend we’re more solid than we really feel.

But here’s the thing: you’re not meant to pour yourself into every container that shows up. Not every role. Not every expectation. Not anymore.

Cancer changes the shape of you and your life. And as much as we all hate the fact that we got cancer, it’s actually an invitation to ask: What boxes do I actually want to sit in? What parts of my life deserve my energy, and what parts am I done contorting myself to match?

Living like liquid, blending into whatever space others leave for you, is exhausting. You deserve better than exhaustion and resentment, especially after (or with) cancer.

So maybe it’s time to flip the script. Instead of squeezing into boxes that don’t fit, what if you chose the shape of your own container? What if you decided your boundaries, your priorities, your needs mattered just as much as everyone else’s?

Here’s a place to start:

• Notice where you’re bending. This week, pay attention to when you say yes out of obligation instead of desire.
  

• Ask yourself: does this fit me now? Not the “old me,” not the “Wonder Woman me,” but the real, here-and-now version of you.
  

• Practice one small boundary. Maybe it’s saying no to a request that drains you. Maybe it’s leaving work on time. Maybe it’s giving yourself an hour to rest without guilt.

This isn’t about being selfish. It’s about being whole. About recognizing that fitting in is not the same as belonging. And that the people who love you—truly love you—want the real you, not the one molded by obligation and guilt.

You get to choose what boxes you sit in, and how big those boxes are.

So here’s your gentle but firm reminder: you don’t have to fit. You get to choose. You get to reshape. You get to be.

And trust me—when you give yourself permission to stop squeezing into everyone else’s boxes, you finally create the space to breathe. To heal. To live on your terms.

If you need help prying yourself out of other people’s boxes, or figuring out what you want yours to look like—and how you want to feel when you sit in them—please reach out to me. I’ll help you figure it out.

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