Ever notice how the first pancake is always a little off?

Too pale. Too burnt. Oddly shaped. It never comes out just right.

That first pancake feels a lot like life when you’ve been living with cancer—or recovering from it. You want things to go smoothly, to feel “normal” again. You crave perfection. But instead, you get messy starts, uneven progress, and outcomes that don’t look anything like what you pictured.

Here’s the truth: the first pancake isn’t supposed to be perfect. It’s practice. It teaches you how hot the pan really is, how much batter you need, when to flip. Without the first try, you’d never get to the golden-brown stack that follows.

Perfectionism tells you that every moment, every choice, every version of you has to be flawless. It whispers that you don’t get do-overs. That you should already know how to handle this new life. But perfectionism is lying to you.

After cancer, you’re relearning so many things—how to live in your body, how to manage your energy, how to balance work and home without burning out. Of course it won’t be perfect at first. Of course you’ll make mistakes. That’s how practice works.

Think about it: no one judges the first pancake. We laugh about it. We toss it on the plate anyway, knowing it still counts (although admittedly, we all know it’s the mom that eats that one). So why do we judge ourselves so harshly when our “first tries” at post-cancer living come out uneven?

What if you gave yourself permission for “first pancakes” in your life? To try. To learn. To make a bit of a mess and then do it differently next time. To see practice not as failure, but as the only way forward.

Because healing isn’t linear. Work-life balance isn’t perfect. Self-care isn’t flawless. And that’s okay. What matters is that you keep showing up for yourself, one small flip at a time.

You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. You just need to start. Flip the pancake. Adjust. Keep going.

Because the second one is usually better. And the third? Even better than that.

And maybe—just maybe—the point isn’t perfection at all. It’s realizing that nourishment, joy, and connection come from the whole messy stack.

If you’re finding it hard to give yourself permission for those “first pancakes” in life—whether it’s rebuilding after cancer, learning to rest, or letting go of old perfectionist patterns—you don’t have to figure it out alone. Reach out, and let’s talk about how I can support you in learning to live with imperfection in a way that feels lighter and more possible, so you can enjoy those pancakes.

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