I took this video of a fountain in a lagoon the other day, and something about it caught my attention.

The water wasn’t still. Not even close.

There were ripples everywhere. Spray flying through the air. Constant movement.

And yet, the whole scene still felt peaceful.

Which got me thinking…

When did we decide that peace requires everything to be still?

After cancer, it can be really easy to fall into the trap of waiting.

I’ll relax after the scan.

I’ll make plans once I know everything is okay.

I’ll stop worrying when this weird pain goes away.

I’ll enjoy myself when I’m not so afraid anymore.

The problem is, there may always be something creating ripples.

Another appointment. Another blood test. An anniversary of your diagnosis. A story about someone else’s cancer. A random ache that your brain immediately decides requires a full medical investigation at 2 a.m.

Cancer has a way of teaching your brain that calm is temporary and danger could be lurking around the corner.

So of course part of you wants the water perfectly still before you let yourself relax.

But what if we looked at that a little differently?

What if peace isn’t the absence of uncertainty?

What if peace is learning that you can have uncertainty and still be okay?

Look at the lagoon.

The fountain is creating all kinds of disruption in one part of the water. But the fountain isn’t the whole lagoon.

And your fear isn’t your whole life either.

Neither is your next scan.

Neither is cancer.

That doesn’t mean pretending you aren’t scared. It doesn’t mean telling yourself to “just stay positive.” And it definitely doesn’t mean ignoring symptoms or skipping appropriate medical care.

It means noticing when your brain takes one ripple and turns it into the entire landscape.

When that happens, try widening the view.

Yes, I’m worried about my scan.

And I’m having dinner with someone I love tonight.

Yes, this symptom scares me.

And right now I’m sitting in the sunshine drinking coffee.

Yes, I don’t know exactly what the future holds.

And I can enjoy today.

You don’t have to wait until every ripple disappears before you start living again.

In fact, sometimes the ripples are part of the experience.

You could be standing on the edge waiting for the water to become perfectly still…

or you could be playing in the fountain.

While I was watching the fountain, this little duck came swimming through.

Water spraying. Ripples everywhere. Droplets landing on its back and rolling right off.

It wasn’t waiting for the fountain to stop.

It wasn’t waiting for the water to become perfectly still.

It was just swimming.

Living its little duck life.

And maybe there’s something in that for us too.

We don’t have to let every drop of trouble soak in.

Some things can land, be noticed, and roll off.

And while all of that is happening, we can still swim. We can still play. We can still live.

Maybe peace isn’t perfectly still water.

Maybe peace is knowing that the ripples can be there, and you can still be in your life.

If you’re tired of feeling like cancer is always somewhere in the background, taking up more space than you want it to, book a call with me and let’s talk about what’s possible for you.

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