Control over our lives is a concept most of us cling to as tightly as we can, especially when it seems like it’s getting away from us. 

When life feels like an endless game of whack-a-mole, finding a sense of control over your circumstances can seem impossible - and can feel like the one thing you need. After all, isn’t control what keeps everything from falling apart? But here’s the secret: control isn’t about micromanaging every detail. It’s about mastering what you can influence and letting go of what you can’t. 

The more we insist on controlling every detail, the less control we often feel. Paradoxical? Yes. True? Absolutely.

Most of us operate on the belief that if we can just hold tight to our schedules, our plans, and our outcomes, we’ll find peace. But life, as we know, doesn’t always cooperate. Think about it—when was the last time everything went according to plan? Probably never, right?

Life is full of curveballs. Deadlines shift, relationships surprise us, kids come down with Strep throat the day of your big work presentation, and espresso machines demand water right now when you’re already five minutes late (you’ve been there, haven’t you?). 

Here’s the thing: control is less about micromanaging the universe and more about managing our reaction to it. What if, instead of grasping at every variable, you loosen your grip? Counterintuitive as it may sound, letting go can actually give you the sense of control you crave.

When you release the need to control everything, you make room for clarity and peace. You start noticing what’s truly within your sphere of influence—your thoughts, your emotions, your next step—and stop wasting energy on the uncontrollable. That clarity brings focus, and with focus comes power. The power to adapt, pivot, or let something go entirely.

Now, how much control do you need? The answer isn’t “all of it.” It’s enough to steer your own ship while letting the waves do their thing. Don’t confuse control with certainty. The truth is, you don’t need to know every outcome—you just need to feel like you’re navigating the ship, even if the waters are unpredictable. 

You can’t stop the rain - but you can carry an umbrella.

Sometimes you just have to accept the cards you were dealt, and play the hand as well as you can.  

What can help is asking yourself a simple question when the urge to control arises: “Will holding on tighter really help here?” If the answer is no, try letting it go.

This isn’t about becoming passive or resigned; it’s about choosing where to invest your energy. Life will always have its curveballs, but the beauty is in the dance, not in forcing every move. Trust me, when you let go a little, you’ll find yourself more in control than ever. 

If you need help figuring out how to do this, please reach out to me - I have extra umbrellas I don’t need anymore!

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